Do It, Armin
by SlightlyObsessed
Summary: Armin's intelligence forces him into an awkward position.


Armin watched in slight dismay as his uniform fell off, leaving him naked but mercifully undetailed in the middle of battle.

"Armin, put your clothes on, you're gonna get eaten!" the small redhead giggled before making a 'whoosh!' sound and taking down the Titan. She playfully poked the propped-up baby doll so that it fell over. Then, she set down her paper doll and took Armin's from him. It embarrassed him on several levels. One, the six-year-old was holding a nude paper doll in his likeness. Two, said six-year-old was much more successful in attaching the paper uniform made to look like that of a Scout.

Armin wondered again how he got here, playing Paper Doll Scout Regiment with this admittedly adorable girl with dancing blue-gray eyes. Right. His brilliant intellect had gotten him here.

It had all started back in the courtroom when Eren was on trial. As the merchant and Pastor Nick argued, the merchant finally blurted out a careless statement.

"I have the whole of the Merchant Association behind me!"

"That," a calm voice stated. "Would be incorrect."

Armin, along with most of the courtroom, swiveled to locate the man who had spoken. He was sitting, Armin noticed, odd when almost everyone else remained standing. He was well-dressed, reinforcing the fact that he was seated amongst the merchants. Light ginger hair, neatly trimmed beard, and glasses framed the older man's face.

"Brian O'Donnell," he said, leaning on a cane to stand up. "O'Donnell Steel."

Armin remembered with a shock. O'Donnell Steel was the primary producer of the military's blades. With the way soldiers go through them, it was certain the owner of the factories had full pockets.

"I understand that you are simply looking out for your best interests. While my personal philosophy tends to disagree with that motivation, it is your right and even duty to do so here. I am afraid to inform you, however, that you are doing a poor job of it. My father would be disappointed…"

Armin listened, rapt, as Brian O'Donnell continued. He wouldn't have dared to try to restate the man's argument, it was so elegantly constructed and eloquently executed. The basic idea, however, was that society would eventually collapse due to the loss of Wall Maria, leaving even the richest and most powerful vulnerable. Apparently, Brian O'Donnell was in favor of handing Eren over to the Scouts.

Armin, to say the least, was impressed. Actually, as an intellectual himself, his eyes were rather round with hero-worship. He silently wished he could make speeches like that, forgetting that he already had.

After the man finished, there was a brief moment of silence. Then the merchant spoke up again.

"Now wait just a minute! O'Donnell is completely biased! Of course he wants a suicidal mission outside the walls. He supplies the swords they'll use up!

"Not only that, but he himself was a Scout until he was injured and forced to retire. And, to top it all off, his daughter is a Scout, and married to none other than Captain Levi!"

Armin started. _Captain Levi? As in Humanity's Strongest Soldier? Married?_ Armin noted the smug look on the merchant's face. He clearly had discovered this through gossip some time back and had been holding it up his sleeve. The rest of the courtroom looked as shocked as Armin. _It might be just that, gossip…_

With barely a minute's pause, Levi's deadpan voice spoke up.

"How very distasteful of you, bringing up with dead." _So it's true. Or, it was._

Erwin turned to Zackly. "Shannon O'Donnell died in combat five years ago, shortly after the fall of Wall Maria."

"I see," Zackly said. "Interesting."

Armin couldn't believe it. Would this really sway Zackly? Without thinking, he raised his hand.

"Sir, I apologize for speaking. I am only a lowly cadet, and have no right to speak my mind here, but… I believe that's a fallacy. Bringing up Mr. O'Donnell's family. Sorry." Armin blushed scarlet.

"Hmm," Zackly said, still in his serious way. "What type of fallacy?"

"Huh? Uh, sorry, sir, I don't… I don't know…" Armin wanted to die.

"Doesn't matter, cadet. You're right. It is an ad hominem. I will judge Mr. O'Donnell's argument for the sake of its reason, and not his motivations." Zackly said it in such a way that made it sound final.

As the hearing proceeded, Armin quite nearly collapsed with relief. Looking up, Armin had noticed Brian O'Donnell- the man was staring at him with interest. Neither Armin nor Mr. O'Donnell paid each other much attention for long, as Zackly moved on to ask Eren about the events at Trost.

Of course, Armin hadn't gone directly from court to babysitting. He took back Paper Armin and tried to be enthusiastic about killing a Titan with pretty brown curls and a flouncy dress. Isabel had explained apologetically that she had tried to make Greta more Titan-like by stripping her and giving her a haircut, but apparently Brigitte had put her foot down. Armin found the aging housekeeper to be an amusing, if slightly terrifying, woman.

No, the original deal was all about learning. After the trial ended and everyone filtered put, Armin had nearly fainted from astonishment as Brian O'Donnell himself approached him. Armin didn't remember much of what the man said, but long story short he had been impressed with Armin's small contribution and wanted to know what sort of education Armin had. Minimal, of course. His grandfather had encouraged Armin to learn and ask questions, but there wasn't exactly money to send Armin to a proper boarding school in some nicer district. This had made the man even more curious, and he had offered to lend some of his books to Armin. As it turned out, he had quite a collection of not-so-legal resources.

How could Armin refuse?

As soon as he got a spare moment, Armin had followed the scrawled directions to the indicated address. Already rather intimidated by the wide streets and fine homes, Armin nearly fainted again when he found the place. It was huge.

Armin tentatively used the knocker, then almost turned around. Before he could flee, however, the door flung wide.

"Hello! How may I help you, sweetie?" It had been Brigitte. Of course, Armin didn't know her at that point, and she was startling in appearance. She was comfortably plump with black hair pulled back and warm brown eyes, a big, friendly smile plastered on, but her skin was darker than anyone else Armin knew. Completely brown. Armin had never seen someone like her his entire life. He quickly learned, however, that she was just as human as he, and if anything it was her large personality that was to be afraid of.

Dumbstruck, Armin found himself being herded into an exquisitely furnished sitting room and somehow ended up with a cup of steaming tea in his hands.

The woman was talking. "You may call me Brigitte. Everyone does. Don't think I've ever been called Miss Thomas. What a silly thought! You're a cadet. I take it then you're here to see-"

"Mr. O'Donnell," Armin finished.

Brigitte blinked. "Oh. Alright then. I'll go get him." And off she went. Armin couldn't help but be amazed at how cheerily and how quickly that woman talked. He felt bad for interrupting, but he wasn't sure he could have gotten a word in otherwise.

That was when Armin met Isabel. While waiting, somewhat at a loss, a small person wandered into the room, eyes large with curiosity.

"Who're you?" she asked.

"Uh… Armin Arlert."

"Whatcha doin' here?"

"Uh… Mr. O'Donnell invited me."

"Oh. Okay. Wanna be my friend?"

"Um… I guess."

"Yay! Will you be my bestest friend? I don't have a bestest friend. Well I sorta do… but she's imaginary."

"Um… maybe we should get to know each other better first. I don't even know your name."

"Isabel! Now we can be bestest friends!" Isabel said with fervor.

"Uh…" Armin said.

"I see you've met my granddaughter!" a voice laughed. It was Mr. O'Donnell.

"Um, yes. I guess I have." Armin watched Mr. O'Donnell lean down towards Isabel.

"Is it quite all right if I steal your friend away? He came to borrow some books." Isabel looked disappointed, but nodded and ran off.

"Isabel! No running in the house!"

"Yes, Grandpa!" Isabel answered, slowing only a little bit.

After the shock of so many bubbly personalities bombarding him finally wore off, Armin hardly had time to stop and think before going into shock again. He stared at the endless rows of books, covering wall to wall, floor to ceiling. Books, books, books! How was Mr. O'Donnell not in jail for this? Armin decided not to question it, and the next few minutes or hours were pure bliss for him.

After some time, Armin had asked Mr. O'Donnell a question regarding one of the books that the man had decided would best be answered by another book. Realizing he had left it in his study, he invited Armin to follow him. Once there, he handed Armin the book and sat down at his desk to do some work. Armin settled comfortably in one of the other chairs.

Suddenly, Armin was knocked out of his reverie.

"Brian, have you seen Isabel's room? It is a complete mess. I swear she takes after her-" Captain Levi stopped dead when he saw Armin. His eyes narrowed just the slightest. Armin gulped. _I completely forgot… even if his wife is dead, Captain Levi is still Mr. O'Donnell's son-in-law. Wait, could Isabel be… Mr. O'Donnell could have other children…_

"Hello, Levi," Mr. O'Donnell said, an amused twinkle in his eyes. "Nice to see you, too."

"Tch, pleasantries. Why is he here?"

"Armin is my guest."

"Tch. Why?"

"Why shouldn't he be my guest?"

"I can leave…" Armin squeaked.

"Tch. No. If Brian wants to add small blonde cadets that look like girls to his repertoire of starving street urchins, that's up to him."

Armin really didn't know how to take that.

"I'll go clean it," Captain Levi said after a short pause. He quickly left, but Armin sat and pondered. Captain Levi had shifted slightly on his feet during the pause, as though unsure. _Could Captain Levi be just as uncomfortable in this situation as I am? I suppose… I am intruding on his personal life. I don't think many people are aware he even has one._

Despite the extremely uncomfortable encounter with Humanity's Strongest, Armin just couldn't give up the books. He continued to visit Mr. O'Donnell and even began to form a sort of friendship with him, discussing everything from current politics to the hardships ancient sailors faced on the open sea. Throughout all of this Levi avoided Armin, finding things to clean in other rooms whenever Armin showed up. Brigitte and Isabel, however, were very different. Brigitte doted, as she did with everyone, and made it her life goal to figure out what treat would make Armin open up and be more talkative. As for Isabel, well, Armin was her new 'Bestest Friend,' after all. Armin felt even more uncomfortable around her ever since it was confirmed that she was Levi's daughter. It had happened rather suddenly and without eloquence. She had been excitedly telling Armin a story (he wasn't sure what about) as Armin waited for Mr. O'Donnell to return from an errand when the door opened and Levi entered.

"Daddy!" Isabel leapt up and catapulted into Levi, who, not noticing Armin's presence, easily scooped her up and… smiled. Very slightly, but a smile nonetheless.

"And how was your day?" As deadpan as ever.

"Good!"

"You did your schoolwork?"

"Most of it. I need Grandpa's help."

"You cleaned your room?"

"Well…"

"Isabel."

"I forgot?"

"Did you now." It was skeptical.

"I'll go do it!" Isabel scrambled out of her father's arms.

"Isabel."

"Yessie?"

"Be good." Armin couldn't quite comprehend as he watched Levi playfully tug Isabel's small red ponytail before she ran off, giggling.

As for Levi, he watched Isabel disappear up the stairs before turning to the sitting room, where Armin was making himself as small as he possibly could. Levi froze, the small smile vanishing.

"I'm sorry, sir, I was just waiting for-"

"Brian. Understood." Levi left rather quickly.

Since that encounter, Armin was slightly afraid to be around Isabel. For one thing, it risked more awkward encounters with Captain Levi. Second, there was the possibility that something could happen and Levi would kill Armin. After seeing how much Levi cared for his daughter, Armin had no doubt that he could get blamed for anything from boredom to a Titan attack and be sentenced to death if it was in Isabel's name. Unfortunately, Isabel was attached. Even worse, Armin found himself in a no-win scenario.

"How come you get to play with Armin all the time and I never do?"

Of course, she had to ask the question of her grandpa while Levi was in the room. Now Armin had to decide: was it more likely for Levi to kill him if he did play with Isabel, or if he didn't?

"He plays with Grandpa because Grandpa is the one who invited him over. Maybe if you invited him over, he'd play with you, Isabel." Armin had a hard time finding where seriousness, humor, and sarcasm started and ended in Levi's statement.

Isabel pondered. "That makes sense. Will you come play with me, Armin?" Big, pleading gray eyes, narrow, critical ones, and laughing blue eyes all waited for an answer.

"Um… I guess so. If your father's okay with it…"

"Like I care." Armin doubted that, but couldn't decipher his real meaning.

"Yay!" Isabel danced in a circle.

 _Oh no. What have I gotten myself into?_

And that about covered how Armin had ended up playing Paper Doll Scout Regiment vs. Greta the Pretty Titan.

Armin, who had zoned out in the midst of 'battle,' returned his attention to Isabel. She was concentrating very hard on a horse paper doll, apparently doing surgery to reattach a leg. Her tongue was sticking out slightly as she attempted to rectify the problem. Greta was forgotten, sprawled on the floor after her encounter with the Scouts. Paper Isabel had been carefully set to the side, separate from but close to the larger pile of Scouts. It was actually rather surprising to Armin how much 'research' went into the dolls. Almost all of them were based off of people her father told her about. The ones that received the most love, of course, were the ones Isabel knew directly. This category included Commander Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe, and Mike Zacharias, all of which had been to the O'Donnell residence before. Paper Levi was also clearly important to Isabel, but of course the most detailed of all was Paper Isabel, the protagonist of all the Paper Scout Regiment's adventures.

Unfortunately, Armin had not been allowed to simply use a random Scout. Nope. With Isabel's help, Paper Armin had been born, along with a whole 104th Cadet Corps. Isabel insisted that Armin tell her every detail about his friends, and Armin felt a bit like a traitor as caricatures of his comrades were brought into being. At this moment, Armin sat down his rather feminine-looking doll and attempted to be polite.

"So, since the Titan was killed, are we done?"

Isabel looked up from the horse, which looked worse off than it had been before. "There are lots more Titans, Armin."

"Oh. Right."

"Though it is kinda boring when we only have one small Titan at a time."

"Boring? Uh, I guess you could say that."

"Y'know what would be really fun? If we had a Colossal Titan to fight!"

"Yep. That would be 'fun,' alright," Armin sighed.

Whether it was Armin's or Levi's misfortune that he should walk in at exactly that moment is anyone's guess.

"Daddy! Come play with us! You can be the Colossal Titan!" Armin looked at Levi in fear.

"You have Armin. Why can't he be the Colossal Titan?"

"He has to be Armin! See?" Isabel held up Paper Armin, whose clothes fell off again. Armin wanted to die.

Levi sighed. "I have work to do, Isabel."

Isabel pouted. "But it's so fun when you play Titan." _Seriously? He's done this before? Of course he has. Every father plays stupid games with his small children. At least Isabel's not asking him to play Princess… oh God what if he has… oh God get that image out of my head!_

Levi was attempting to leave by the same door he came in, never accomplishing whatever he came in to do.

"Pleeease?" Even though Levi wasn't getting hit with the Bambi eyes Armin was witnessing, he still stopped and hung his head. There was a moment of silence. Then…

"Fine. But only once, okay?"

"Yay!" Isabel clapped her hands. _He said yes? Why, why would he say yes? Oh no, I'm going to die…_

Levi walked over to where Armin and Isabel were sitting. "Okay. I'm a Titan. Kill me quickly so I can leave."

"Oh boy!" Isabel grabbed her paper doll and flew her about, standing up so she could reach higher. Even so, she was much too short to reach Levi's neck.

"Armin, help me! I can't slay it alone! So… tall…" Isabel grunted s she fruitlessly jumped up and down. _That's gotta be a first for the Captain, getting referred to as 'tall.'_

"Don't you remember what I told you last time, Isabel? The ankles. Slice the ankles so it falls." _Wow. I'm actually listening to Captain Levi give advice on killing Titans to a six-year-old girl._ Levi both looked and sounded bored.

"Oh, right!" Isabel made a few sound effects and zipped her doll along Levi's heels. Levi watched, and when he had apparently decided Isabel had performed sufficiently, he promptly fell face down, collapsing artfully in front of Armin's astonished face. Levi looked up at Armin with eyes that betrayed a hint of 'help me' within his ambivalent boredom. Armin felt a tingle of pity replace some of his fear. _How completely embarrassing this must be._

"Armin, finish it off!" Isabel shrieked with glee. _Wait, what?_

"Hurry, before it regen'rates!" _What._

Armin held Paper Armin a bit tighter, cringing away from Levi just the slightest. He looked at Levi with a conflicted expression. _He doesn't seriously expect me to do it, right?_

"Do it, Armin."

It was so simple. He said it with the air of a man telling his friend to shoot him for the greater good, which, Armin supposed, wasn't far from the truth. Levi looked at Armin unblinkingly. An order was an order…

"Um… slice," Armin said awkwardly, moving Paper Armin far enough over Levi's neck that there was never any contact.

Levi closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. "Bleh." Armin stared.

"Yay, we did it, Armin!"

"Good, then I can go now." Levi barely managed to lift his head before Isabel stopped him.

"Wait, no! You have to evaporate first!"

Levi looked at Isabel with an expression Armin could only define as 'How the hell am I supposed to do that?'

"Grandpa always does," Isabel said innocently, as though reading Levi's thoughts. "He waves his arms and makes 'whoosh' noises."

Levi stared at the ceiling and huffed in exasperation. Sighing, he sat up and flapped his hands in a very sarcastic manner.

"E-vaporate," he said, equally sarcastically. Placing his hands on his knees, he turned to Isabel. "Am I done now?"

Isabel looked unsatisfied, but she nodded. "Grandpa does it better. But you're better at falling, so I guess it's okay." Armin had to admit that Levi's fall _was_ quite impressive.

"Good." Levi stood up, brushed himself off while grumbling something about the dirty floor, and started to leave as Isabel cheerily called out a "Thank you, Daddy!"

"You're welcome. Oh, and Armin?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Not a word. Ever."

"Yes, sir!"

 _Epilogue_

For whatever bizarre reason, that incident seemed to improve Armin and Levi's relationship. Levi didn't hide away with his army of brooms quite as much, and Armin didn't feel so terrified. Perhaps it was because of the humanizing effect seeing Levi controlled by his six-year-old daughter had. Perhaps it was because of the shared agony. Neither of them could escape the whims of Isabel Amelia Ackerman… though neither of them completely wanted to. Armin didn't like to admit it, but he would be a bit sad when the cadets were finally moved out.

It seemed to Armin that Levi might even like him. But that could be stretching it a bit far.

Armin thought, rather stupidly, that things were falling into a nice routine. Read, eat snacks provided by Brigitte, have a discussion with Mr. O'Donnell, play with Isabel, borrow books, leave, repeat. Occasionally get roped into cleaning with Levi. No surprises.

Then one day, while Armin was once again trying and failing to keep his clothes on, Isabel popped the question.

"Armin, do you like me?"

"Well, yeah, I guess."

"Do you looove me?"

""Wha…? I-I don't think… I wouldn't use… that's a strong wor-"

"When I grow up, Imma marry you."

Armin gaped. No words coming out, he vaguely imagined himself an Armin Fish.

"I… Isabel… we can't… I… your father would never allow it!" Armin grasped onto the first thing he could think of. He looked at Levi, who was sitting in a chair near Mr. O'Donnell. The older man was silently heaving in laughter, one hand over his mouth, while Levi stared back at Armin evenly as Armin pleaded with his eyes. _Please get me out of this._

Levi returned his gaze to the report he was reading and calmly answered, as though not caring any more than he usually did.

"Fine by me. You seem like a decent young man."

"I-I! Captain! You can't be-"

"Now, if it was Eren Isabel wanted to marry… but you're not bad." Armin couldn't tell how much of what Levi was saying was a joke. He really couldn't.

"Though, I must insist you wait until she's at least twenty. I don't care if you were seventeen when you married Amelia, Brian."

"Amelia was sixteen." Mr. O'Donnell had managed to compose himself enough to join in on the… fun? It wasn't fun for Armin.

"Tch. Whatever."

"Yay!" Isabel threw her arms around Armin.

 _Oh God, when will it end?_


End file.
